Again for myself

I know it's never gonna be easy

One day....

it may be tomorrow

or some two years after this moment

I'll have to leave you

and find a new path

I don't know

how many tears do I need to shed again

how the broken heart would be repaired

how would I collect myself

But some distant day,

I know 

I would.

Again the same routine

same pain penetrating me deep down

Of course I can see

but everything is blank

cloudy

blur

nothings gonna be same ever again

and I have to live with it.

Every time it happens,

every time I'll have to let it go

I know I don't deserve you

or I guess I don't deserve anyone

just blank lonely place.

Once again,

I know I can do it again

again for myself. 

The Day We Met

I still remember the day we met

it was a crowded corridor

but my eyes could only find yours.

Those beautiful eyes,

that belongs to you

flattered me on the first look

I wanted to take my eyes off yours

it felt eternity

I have no fault.

I do remember, the look on your face...

the sweet smile 

that emerged on your lips

it faded quickly

as if  you did that only for me.

Wanted to hug you that time

in front of all

but what could have I done

the place was wrong.

Your eyes staring

not leaving mine

I wanted them to be there

all the time.

You step closer

I held my breath

Your touch made me forgot

what I really wanted to say.

Your eyes speaking everything to me

but  then also,

you spoke what I wanted forever

"You're the best

thing ever happened to me."

I wanna love you!

I Know you don't believe in love
For you love is a myth
But I wanna love you so very much that you fall for this myth-thing again
I wanna hug you for so long that you forget all the pain that life offered you
I don't know how to kiss
So you can teach me that :D
I wanna hold your hand and listen to your story whole night
I wanna stare at your eyes till they connect with mine,
Till they confess everything that they are holding back, hiding from me
I wanna love you for my entire life
I wanna grow up with you,
Laughing and playing with you
Pulling your hairs
And punching you on the stomach
Yeah I do wanna go on a date with you,
If you could ask me

I know these would only remain a dream
A dream that will fade away with distance and time
But still I wanna confess today
I wanna love you!

mom

I know the time is not right

The clock needs to wait

Few more dark nights

For that one sunshine.

For all the sufferings that you went through

sacrifices that you chose

covering your dreams behind the curtains

and opening the window for your kids.

For all the time you took a step back

for all the desires that were locked into the box

I as your daughter wanna promise you

I would let the sunshine

penetrate behind that curtain

All your dreams compromised for me 

would live one day

Spark meant for your eyes

would be returned.

I know the time is not right

the clock needs to wait

few more dark nights

for one promised sunshine.

Once Again

Sitting in dilemma

on the side of the bed

eyes half closed

half apart.

Thinking deeply

still in subconscious mind

whether what I saw was real

or my eyes faking around.

My mind wanders again and again

playing the scenes

for numerous time.

Did I see him?

Of course he was there!

playing with me,

not leaving my hand

clicking selfies

and kicking each other

The fun moments 

came accompanied with him.

After a long one year

that blush returned

the smile appeared 

and the soul cherished.

The happiness

which was borrowed

by the mind, for the soul

lasted for few minutes

and everything only a smoke.

I'll not pray from God

to give you back

not because I don't want

but I know she wants you more than me

she would be broken

she would be hurt

I'm strong

and everyone can't be me.

So, I've left him behind

moving ahead

on the path 

which would not coincide

with his.

Apology

I know I'm sorry

so I wanna confess

wanted to text you

but couldn't,

Meeting you is out of question.

The reason is wierd

The sorry which will relief you,

can give a huge injury to someone else

and He is no one to me

nor do You.

The realization came in the eleventh hour

your heart must have felt the pain

But my heart, a-slow-learner

never mind to take a lesson.

Seeing your image

after three long years

look did change

but you remained the same.

Smile that crossed your lips

connected with mine

By coming in your life,

I'll again ruin that shine.

The smile will be snatched

and the look will be gone

This time my soul is alert

couldn't do any more sin.

So I beg your pardon

from my heart to yours

keeping aside all the abuses

you shattered on me.

I trusted you dude

you broke my belief

but I know your soul was also hurt

So,

"I'm sorry!!!"

From my soul to yours.

Being a Girl

Opinions, perspective and views

whatever you own

have you ever realized

what does it mean

being a girl

They worship Lakshmi, Durga and Saraswati

for a boy to be born

lines appear on their forehead

before she can ever open her eyes

From sanitary napkins

to every month periods

everything she has to hide

pregnancy is a demand of society

on the terms of

"don't tell you've periods"

She is judged by

length of fabric on her body

number of notes she can bring to in-laws

whether she can make her husband happy

or pair with a Y chromosome

"save girl" 

still a slogan

"women security"

still a vote bank

"take your brother with you"

still spoken when going out

"don't wear shorts"

still an advice

"a girl is raped"

still a morning's headline

periods pain

pregnancy pain

pain when someone molests her

pain when she is beaten down

pain when face burns with acid

pain when someone destroys her soul

how much more can she handle???

silently she wipes her tears

bandage her wounds

console herself

and bring a smile

all boys

please be a man she admires

we all look up to you

humanity is only thing that we request

so when your girls grow up

she doesn't has to write this poem

all the beautiful girls

God made us girls

because He trusts

that

being a girl is only our stuff.